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Your issue is not over the label...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: May 11

In Answer To: Whats the label? (Joe)

Labeling yourself "gay," "bi," "straight" or what not is not the issue here. The issue seems to be the fact that you've never dated anybody.

What you should really be more concerned with at this time is not who you're going to marry, but who and when you are going to date! Jumping into a marriage, any marriage, at the "drop of a pin," is a recipe for disaster. You're still quite young, and 20 is not a bad age to start dating. In fact, I didn't have my first gay date until I was 21.

Once you've had the opportunity to date other guys, and/or girls, you'll be able to better balance your emotional and sexual needs with the desire you express to satisfy heterosexual cultural expectations of marriage and family. Most of the "pull" of marriage comes from our extensively heterosexual culture that affects us from the time we are small children. But most gay men who marry for the sake of having children and leading a "straight life," inevitably face dealing with their true sexual orienation...often causing much pain and anguish to the women they unfairly marry.

So bear this in mind as you begin dating, and also enjoy the learning experience that comes with meeting new people and pursuing you true love interests. Over time, you might be surprised how much your feelings on marriage might be affected.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Questions In This Thread

• Whats the label?
  Joe -- May 1
  • Your issue is not over the label...
    Jeff -- May 11

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