Ask Jeff & Anthony

It's not always simple to come out!

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: March 24

In Answer To: Small town and popular but gay (Zachrey)

First of all, congratulation for having the strength to WANT to tell the world about the real you. A lot of people in your situation who can easily hide among girls and sports often do...and they suffer enormously because of it.

It would be great if every gay person would just come out, but there are obviously real-world practicalities that must be dealt with, particularly in a small town. The better your social network, and the more decent people you surround yourself with, the more successful such a "coming out" will be. If you read Dave's Column (in the Kurfew Junior) section, you'll see an example of a popular boy who remained very popular even as he came out of the closet. So "coming out" is not a sure-fire ticket to ruining your social life. On the other hand, there may well be individuals who will be out to make your life more difficult. Homophobic bigots exist everywhere, and they're behaviors are more tolerated in smaller towns. You may or may not have problems with such individuals at your school, but it's something to think about.

If you feel you can come out and still remain happy, get your work done, and not have harmed caused to you...then I'd say go ahead and do it! But if there's a possibility of things getting worse for you...you might want to hold off. Only you can make that decision!

As far as support groups: check your local phone directory under "Gay" or "Youth Services." If you can't find anything, email me or anthony conidentially at ask@kurfew.com and tell us your town or nearest major city and we'll let you know what support groups or social services groups we can find in your area.

Questions In This Thread

• Lost in Str8 Land
  Oneonta boy -- December 22
  • Lost in Str8 Land
    Jeff -- January 2
  • Small town and popular but gay
    Zachrey -- March 23
    • It's not always simple to come out!
      Jeff -- March 24

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