Ask Jeff & Anthony

Someone's got to make the first move...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: March 5

In Answer To: Yep, I'm in love with my friend (WhatToDo)

Yep, we've covered this topic on the board several times, and you can search and read about the different experiences and our advice in each case.

You're wise to recognize that you might be interpreting his "interest" based on your own intense desire for him to be gay. This is very possible.

But bottom line, you only live once. If both of you are feeling the same thing, but none of you do anything about it, then neither of you will ever get to possibly experience the satisfaction of a relationship that you might very well both want. The risk, obviously is that he's very homophobic (and this could be the case, or perhaps more so, if he himself is actually gay) and that you might damage or end your friendship by outright disclosure of your homosexual interest in him.

You should ask yourself if you want to look back 10 years from now saying to yourself "Why didn't I just let him know!!!" So, my feeling is that you should make a few bolder moves to more strongly hint of your interest. The next time you guys wrestle, make a point to be far more touchy (respectably touchy!!!). Or maybe offer to give your friend a massage (that's always fun!). At some point you should leave him with an unmistakable impression that you are very much interested in your friend. But keep that window open for him in the event that he's either (1) straight or (2) just not ready to acknowledge his own homosexuality. Hopefully, he's as ready as you are, and your aggressiveness will trigger more comfort on his part to do the same.

Also, read the other advice on this board for those dealing with your situation.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!!!

Questions In This Thread

• Yep, I'm in love with my friend
  WhatToDo -- February 28
  • Someone's got to make the first move...
    Jeff -- March 5

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