Ask Jeff & Anthony

Put yourself in the right places to find a potential partner

Submitted By: The Kurfew Krew
Date: September 23

In Answer To: Trying to find Mr. Right (Jeff)

It sounds like you’ve been on quite a journey of self-discovery, and you’ve made significant progress in coming out and being honest with yourself and your loved ones. It’s great that you’re now feeling ready for a relationship and looking for something deeper than just casual hookups.

It’s perfectly normal to feel unsure about how to interact with guys in a non-hookup context, especially when that’s been your primary experience so far. The desire for a meaningful connection is something many people experience as they grow into themselves, and you’re not alone in wondering how to find someone who shares that same desire for emotional closeness.

Your friends are right in saying that meeting the right person often happens when the time is right, but it’s also important to actively put yourself in environments where you can meet potential partners. Here are a few ways you might consider meeting guys and starting to build those deeper connections:

Join LGBTQ+ Groups or Organizations: Many college campuses, including CSU, have LGBTQ+ student groups or clubs where you can meet people with similar interests. These groups often organize social events, which can be a great way to meet other guys outside of the hookup scene and form friendships that could turn into something more.

Attend Social Events or Networking Opportunities: Whether it’s LGBTQ+ events, student activities, or social gatherings, being in environments where people come together for shared interests can open the door to meeting someone. Sometimes, just being in a relaxed, communal setting allows for more natural conversations and connections to develop.

Explore Dating Apps in a More Intentional Way: While apps like Grindr are often associated with hookups, many people use dating apps to find more meaningful relationships too. You can be upfront in your profile about what you’re looking for. There are also apps that tend to focus more on dating and getting to know someone rather than purely physical encounters.

Be Open and Patient: It’s great that you’re actively seeking a relationship, but sometimes the pressure to find “Mr. Right” can feel overwhelming. Try to focus on getting to know people and building connections without feeling like it all has to lead to a relationship right away. Building friendships and taking things slow can sometimes lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Be Yourself: When you do get to know someone, just be open, authentic, and true to who you are. Being yourself will attract the right kind of person who values you for you. It’s okay if things feel awkward at first—just being open to talking and connecting with others is the first step.

Remember, there’s no rush to meet the perfect person, and the most important thing is to enjoy the process of connecting with others. Keep focusing on your goals and passions, and the right relationship will likely come when you’re in a good place personally, emotionally, and mentally.

Wishing you the best as you navigate this exciting time of your life

Questions In This Thread

• Trying to find Mr. Right
  Jeff -- July 2
  • Put yourself in the right places to find a potential partner
    The Kurfew Krew -- September 23

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