Ask Jeff & Anthony

Take some action...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: February 24

In Answer To: Re: stuck (anon)

Obsessing over someone you can't have can be emotionally devastating, and can also waste a great deal of your time. The problem with waiting for this friend of yours to "come around," is that he might NEVER come around. And does that mean you'll wait forever?!?! That only happens in fairy tales.

In the real world, you need to move on when there's not mutual attraction. It's just the way it is. Not everyone will be attracted or interested in you, nor will you be attracted or interested in everybody.

Have you come out to your friend directly and told him you were gay? If not, that's a first step, and then judge his reaction. Next, I'd get direct about your interest in him and see his response. You've already kissed him which gives you the right to breach the subject. If he's horrified by the idea or politely rejects you, at least you've gotten an answer and can move on. There's always the remote chance that by taking this action, you might make something happen between you...but remember, it's not guaranteed, and it might well not happen, so prepare for the worst.

The best part about getting an answer, even a NO, is that you can move on to explore other relationshpis without a guilty feeling lingering in your mind. Sure, it may take a couple of months to get over the fact that you can't have this boy (if that's the case), but you will move on like everyone else, and you'll probably be surprised when you find someone else who you get the same feelings for, and who likes you the same way!!!

Lots of luck and let me know how it goes!

Questions In This Thread

• am i or am i not
  torn69 -- January 4
  • To tell or not to tell...part 2
    Anthony -- January 6
  • Re: stuck
    anon -- February 14
    • Take some action...
      Jeff -- February 24

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