Ask Jeff & Anthony

First boyfriend...not so fast!

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: November 27

In Answer To: Need help to get my first boyfriend (Judson)

You said that you've tried to tell him how you feel, but it "isn't working." I think Anthony's done a good job in answering your question should it be the case that the object of your affections doesn't know that you're gay (and/or vice versa). There are plenty of other answers on this page about approaching a guy whose sexual orientation is unknown.

My general philosophy in these cases is to take a bit of a chance. It's usually the reluctance of one or both people that forestalls many a potentially meaningful relationship. I'd also add that you shouldn't rush things...coming on too strong, or too soon is a another way to destroy the chance of a relationship, so exercise the right balance of forwardness with patience.

I'd offer more specific advice once I knew:
#1 How did you "try" to tell him how you feel.
#2 Do you know that he is gay/bi?
#3 Does he know that you are gay/bi?

Questions In This Thread

• Need help to get my first boyfriend
  Judson -- November 25
  • Start with clues
    Anthony -- November 26
  • First boyfriend...not so fast!
    Jeff -- November 27

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