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Work on the relationship first...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: October 10

In Answer To: How can I trust him? (lilmiss)

hi thankyou for your reply
what my husband now tells me, he thinks he isnt bisexual, he was worried that he was with doing what he did when he was younger, he says talking about it has helped him. The only fantasy he had was when he was on drugs and he said he did it to test himself and he got turned on. The thing is what im worried about is weather or not this is the real truth, all the trust has gone out of the window and i really wish i could believe that he will always be truthful with me from now on. What do you think??
thanks again

It sounds like he may just be avoiding the issue, having gotten you so agitated by bringing it up. And I don't blame him. If he's tried to tell you about his same-sex feelings, but your reaction was jealousy and expressing feelings of betrayal, it isn't surprising that he might be backpedaling from his original "confession," especially if he doesn't want to lose you.

Even in the best of relationships you can't force your partner to reveal 100% truth about his most intimate feelings. It seems like a wonderful concept, but most people couldn't live with each other if they were 100% honest and forthcoming about every little detail, thought, fantasy, etc.

Give your husband some breathing space. Tell him you'll accept him regardless of his feelings, and tell him you'd like him to feel comfortable telling you his thoughts and feelings. It seems to me that you need to work on improving the relatinoship between the two of you before he's going to feel comfortable opening up again.

- Jeff

Questions In This Thread

• Husband says he's bi...should i stay or should i go?
  Lillmiss -- September 12
  • You need to do some serious evaluating...
    Jeff -- October 8
    • How can I trust him?
      lilmiss -- October 10
      • Work on the relationship first...
        Jeff -- October 10

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