Ask Jeff & Anthony

Take it one step at a time!

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: May 11

In Answer To: New to the gay-thing (Y)

First of all, congratulations for coming to terms with you sexuality. Although it may feel like you're "late to the party," at age 22, in reality, there are a large percentage of gay people who don't come out until their late 20's, 30's or beyond!

You and you alone should decide who you want to know that you're gay. Some people are comfortable wearing pink triangles and telling the world, while others just prefer to keep their orientation to their close friends. If you're just starting out, I'd recommend letting your closest friends know and taking it from there. Eventaully, you'll get your own sense of whom to tell and whom not to tell.

As far as how to meet other gay people, that's the age-old question! Certainly review some of the other answers within this column and remember to post a Kurfew personal. Online works for gay people because as you said, it's not always possible to tell just by looking at someone that they're gay! Going to a club should not be ruled out, although you should go with friends for the purpose of dancing and making new friends and without expectations of finding Mr. Right (although if he's there, by all means go for him!!!) You might take notice of guys on the street, in clothing stores, etc. and refine your sense of "gaydar." Most importantly, take the time to get comfortable with yourself and make some supportive gay friends. The rest will follow quite naturally!

Good luck!

Questions In This Thread

• New to the gay-thing
  Y -- May 2
  • Take it one step at a time!
    Jeff -- May 11

Ask Jeff & Anthony is maintained by Anthony .