Ask Jeff & Anthony

Once you're out, you're out!

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: May 11

In Answer To: Pushed back in the closet (Javier)

Only YOU can push yourself back into the closet. The fact that your parent's don't bring up the subject means nothing. In all likelihood, they're still coming to terms with the fact that their son is gay. Remember, you've been away for the school year, so it's not like they've had the opportunity to see you every day.

Since you've already come out, there really doesn't seem to be any need to bring it up again unless a situation comes up where it's appropriate that you mention it. For example, you may (or may not) want to let your parents know about a person you're seeing/dating/interested in. This all really depends on your philosophy, but it seems you're seeking your parent's explicit approval and acceptance or you wouldn't be writing in.

Another opportunity to discuss it would be if something in the news is relevant, or if you hear an anti-gay comment, particularly from a family member.

Finally, since the last word from your mother on the situation is that you're going through "a phase," you might want to check out some of the books available for parents of gay kids. Perhaps buying her such a book would be a good way to gently remind her who you are, while giving her the opportunity to learn more about you!

Good luck!

Questions In This Thread

• Pushed back in the closet
  Javier -- May 10
  • Once you're out, you're out!
    Jeff -- May 11

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