Ask Jeff & Anthony

Follow through with your intentions...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: February 24

In Answer To: I choke up when they ask if I'm gay!!! (~~The LHS Phantom~~)

Hey Greg...

You seem to be making the same mistake over and over and that is you so build up the "suspense" about what you're going to do ("come out") that when the time comes you chicken out.

This is quite common for people first coming out, so don't be too concerned about it. However, you should make a real effort to be direct and confident next time. "Hey, I'm gay." Period. End of story. And take it from there. With someone you already KNOW is gay, it should be that much easier.

At the age of 10 or 11 many boys are not yet interested in girls, and may actually appear to be attracted to other boys. But during puberty, most of these boys turn interested in girls. You can't use the behavior of your friend at that age to judge him to be gay or straight, and it's apparent based on his homophobic comments to you that he's likely straight, and also homophobic. He might have memories of those "gay days" and might be trying to distance himself from that, as is also very common between boys who have known each other from a young age. Bringing your friend into the woods to reveal your sexual orientation might understably create some uncomfortableness with someone who now identifies as straight, and he probably had every idea of where you were going with your speech.

So, you don't need to come out to everybody, but when you decide to do it, don't do half the job. Come out cleanly and squarely to avoid getting stuck in those "throat-choking" situations!

Good luck!

Questions In This Thread

• I choke up when they ask if I'm gay!!!
  ~~The LHS Phantom~~ -- February 18
  • Follow through with your intentions...
    Jeff -- February 24

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