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Most confusing boy ever!!!

Submitted By: Jupiter_Jon
Date: March 5

I'm going to explain the details and history of this situation and see if you can give me any helpful advice. I've been friends with this guy for about 10 years now... we went to high school together and worked together after for several years and have stayed close. He is my best friend and I've been in love with him since as far back as I can remember. I know that he's gay (or at least is attracted to guys)because I've found evidence but he doesn't know that I know and he says he's straight. On top of that he does so many things that mess with my head...He never likes any of my boyfriends, he hated one in particular so much that I felt like I had two boyfriends always nagging at me for spending so much time with the other. New employees at work always thought we were a couple because we are ALWAYS together. We both live about 2 hours away from where we went to school together and when I go home to visit my parents or older sister he will drive to hang out with me after they go to bed and then drive all the way back afterwards (we're both night owls and are usually always up late).
Here's where the story gets a little more tricky... He was living with his sister up until about November of last year when she got married and pretty much kicked him out so that her step son could have his room. He was going to get an apartment of his own but he knew he would just be leaving to spend 6 months studying in Japan the following April. So I offered to let him move in and stay with me in my one bedroom apartment. So now he lives with me for the time being. He has clothes in my closet and dresser, and he sleeps in my bed with me.
About 4 months in I couldn't take it anymore and I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel. Not completely how I feel because I didn't want to scare the hell out of him and just be like "I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!" But it was very nicely and easily put. I said I liked him and that I had for a while and that living together has made my feelings more defined...but that my first priority is our friendship and that it was in no way an unhealthy feeling and that I don't cry myself to sleep over him or anything. I just wanted to tell him because he is my best friend and I talk to him about everything and it didn't feel right keeping a secret from him. I also said that if he felt the same I would be the happiest man in the world but if he didn't I wouldn't die. I left the letter for him in my room where he would find it and then I went to work. When I came back he hadn't even opened the envelope yet... he waited until I went to bed and read it then slept on the couch. The next day when he got home from work he acted like nothing had even happened and resumed sleeping in my bed. I kinda hoped he would either say "I don't feel the same" or that he would tell me that he did. Either way I would get closure...but I got nothing. Now... I'm 4 days away from buying a plane ticket to visit him for two weeks while he's in Japan. I want to actually bring up the letter but I don't know when...before he leaves, while I'm on the trip, or should I wait until he gets back? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and move on?

Questions In This Thread

• Most confusing boy ever!!!
  Jupiter_Jon -- March 5
  • Re: Most confusing boy ever!!!
    The Kurfew Krew -- September 23

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