Ask Jeff & Anthony

Coming out

Submitted By: Jake
Date: January 21

Hi Jeff & Anthony,

I'm a 27 year old man who just recently came to terms with being gay (though I've known for a long time). However, I'm having a hard time because I haven't told anyone for fear that it will get back to my mother. Normally, I would start with her but I'm not ready yet (explanation below), but I need someone to talk to. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months and have finally found the courage to tell her that I'm gay, but I'm unsure if it's the right path. Here's the problem: I'm currently in medical school and she will actually be a professor of mine next year. She's not involved in grading or anything but she could obviously effect my life and career. I recognize that she's a psychologist and believe she's very professional and I'm not even sure how she feels about homosexuality, but I'm worried about the possible consequences of my actions. The reason I don't feel I can talk to anyone else is because the chance that it could get back to my mom before I'm ready. Last year, my stepfather of 20 years came out and my mom obviously felt so betrayed and has had major issues with homosexuals since then. Slowly, she's starting to be less angry and has acknowledged that some things she has said have not been very tolerant (i.e. all gays are sexual deviants), but I'm afraid it's too soon to tell her about me. So I'm looking for advice on two fronts: should I tell my therapist and when do you think it's finally time I can tell my mother?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Questions In This Thread

• Coming out
  Jake -- January 21
  • Re: Coming out
    The Kurfew Krew -- September 23

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