Ask Jeff & Anthony

When is it cheating and when is it not...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: January 8

In Answer To: want to be a good BF... (jacob)

As I've discussed in other posts, it's called "Cheating" when your doing something that's beyond the expect rules that you and your boyfriend established, or assumed. When most people declare themselves "boyfriends," they assume that exclusivity is involved.

Your best option is to tell yourself to be strong and resist the inevitable sexual opportunities that will present themselves. When you know you're strong enough to resist, you can flirt all you want, and feel good about being wanted while knowing you're remaining committed to someone you care about.

Your other option would be to be candid with your boyfriend. Tell him you like him, but you can't seem to remain loyal. Your boyfriend may either give you an ultimatum ("stay loyal or I leave!") or less likely, but possible, is that he would be willing to agree to what is termed an "open relationship." Keep in mind that such a relationship means that your boyfriend, too, would be able to "fool around" with other guys. And both of you might fact the constant anxiety that the other might find a more suitable mate. But that's the chance people take when they can't stay committed.

So, it boils down to honesty. Stick to the ground rules that are expected of "boyfriends," or tell your guy what's going on.

Questions In This Thread

• want to be a good BF...
  jacob -- December 24
  • Try harder
    Anthony -- December 24
  • When is it cheating and when is it not...
    Jeff -- January 8

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