Ask Jeff & Anthony

Scared of losing my boyfriend...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: November 24

In Answer To: Problems in general (Frustrated Youth)

It's not uncommon for people to drift apart when separated by distance. Come to think of it, it's not uncommon for people to drift apart even when they're CLOSE TOGETHER!!! It is wise of you to recognize the clues that he is sending you via his choice of language and his manner of avoiding your calls. If your instinct is telling you that he is
ignoring you, you're probably right.

Of course, this is probably not the best news for someone who's clinically depressed, and I hope you are undergoing the appropriate treatment for that. From your email, it seems that regardless you are strong enough to deal with the truth. After all, having a "boyfriend" means nothing if all that is is just a label, with no reciprocated feelings.

What to do? I think you need to confront him. Get him on the phone and let him know what you think. Tell him that you're concerned about how he's ignoring you, and also that is appears he is willing to consider other guys, which you don't like. Tell him you need honest answers because you don't want to waste any more time being with him if he is not equally committed to you.

And then be strong. Acting desperate and whiney is the surest way to losing a boyfriend...nobody is attracted to that. Instead, let him know that you're prepared and ready to let him go and get on with your life is the surest way to assert your self-confidence and to set the stage for improvement in your own life. You might find that he wants to keep you rather than risk losing you forever. Or, you might find that he really is just giving you lip service, and that both of you would be better off moving on.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Questions In This Thread

• Problems in general
  Frustrated Youth -- November 5
  • Scared of losing my boyfriend...
    Jeff -- November 24

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