Ask Jeff & Anthony

Too many thoughts running through my head

Submitted By: Jacob
Date: November 22

It all started at the beginning of this school year. I don't remember how my thoughts were running but in the end I came to the realization that I was gay. I haven't told anyone yet but I've had this running through my head ever since.

I know you guys like to have as much information as possible so as to make an accurate assesment of situations, so here goes:

One day at school as I walked through the halls I passed this one kid that caught my eye. We made eye contact for a brief moment then passed and continued on through the day. On several other occasions I would pass him in the hall. When I saw him I couldn't help but smile as once more our eyes connected in passing.

After the first encounter when I was made aware of his presence I would see him around the school interacting with others. From those observations he seemed playful; poking around with a friend in the lunchline, brushing up against other guys in the hall, etc . From that I figured that there was a possibility he was gay. So, as mentioned before, whenever I saw him in the halls I made eye contact.

As time passed I began to second-guess myself. Wondering if maybe he was straight and just thought it was amusing or perhaps weird that this guy in the halls keeps smiling at him. When I saw him being playful again though I convinced myself yet again that he might be gay.

Then one day when I was scurrying off to class he was going the same way. Out of the blue he asks me what my last name is. At this point I'm dumbfounded that he was actually talking to me. Since my mind was still in a state of shock all I could think of was to tell him and then get on my way.

After a while it began to change. When I would see him and our eyes met it would be a blank stare as though he were analyzing me. I've started to become paranoid thinking that perhaps he told a friend or two with eventually the entire freshman class knowing this open secret about the 'gay junior'.

More than anything else though I would like to get to know him and see what he's like. The problem is that on top of being shy I've got a feeling it would turn out rather awkward if there was nothing in common. If the situation were a guy wondering about a girl that would be different, obviously. But I'm wanting to get to know another guy, who I have no connection with other than that we pass each other in the halls. And given the current social mentality I find that rather difficult.

That is what's been running through my mind. It's such a relief to talk to someone about it. If you have some advice to offer about any aspect of the situation I will gladly accept it.

Thank you.

Questions In This Thread

• Too many thoughts running through my head
  Jacob -- November 22
  • You only live once...
    Jeff -- November 24
  • Game Plan
    Anthony -- November 26

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