Ask Jeff & Anthony

Boyfriend keeps searching the internet for guys!

Submitted By: Anonymous
Date: June 5

Okay. This one's long, but I wanted to include all the important stuff:

I've been in a semi-closeted gay relationship for almost 2 years. Semi meaning we aren't out to a lot of people, only those we're fairly close to. This is my first gay relationship, as I have only been "out" for the past couple years. We aren't the perfect couple or anything, by any means, and we don't pretend to be either. I never really considered myself to have a jealousy problem, but I have been thinking otherwise since this relationship started. My boyfriend seems to have an addiction to browsing online chat rooms, particularly the local ones. I call it an addiction because he does this religiously and cannot seem to go a day without spending an hour or so looking at profiles and trading pictures with other boys. I would not have a problem with this if he didn't do it ALL the time, or if he would atleast let the people he talks to know he's in a relationship with me (he does every now and then, but doesn't seem to when I'm not around). It really upsets me and makes me feel that I am not good enough or good-looking enough for his tastes when he goes into these chat rooms, even though he assures me I am. I have indeed told him how this makes me feel, yet he still goes into these rooms, both when I'm home and especially when I'm not home. I know he loves me and cares about me - we seem to be pretty serious, we have even leased an apartment together. Lately, he has been staying up until late hours every morning (2-4 AM) while I sleep, just cruising away. I just lay in bed and pretend to sleep, though honestly, sleeping is the last thing I can do when he goes online. I don't think that he has ever hooked up with any of these boys outside of our relationship (though I could never say for sure). All this aside, I have a feeling the only way I can truly be happy again is to break free from this relationship and force myself to move on. Do you think this is the right thing to do? Should I try to work it out with him? I feel like I'm only going to continue to hurt myself by staying in the relationship. My friends all think I'm stupid for being in this relationship. I never thought I would find myself stuck in a predicament like this. Please help me! I don't have any friends who can relate to my situation.

Questions In This Thread

• Boyfriend keeps searching the internet for guys!
  Anonymous -- June 5
  • A:How can you just lie there?!?
    Jeff -- June 6
  • Re: Boyfriend keeps searching the inter
    Anonymous -- October 31

Ask Jeff & Anthony is maintained by Anthony .