Ask Jeff & Anthony

Sorry, the EX-ex-gays will tell you that you CAN'T

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: December 31

In Answer To: Can you change your sexuality? (ADAM)

The vast majority of people who claim to have experienced a "change" in sexual orientation, usually after a forced extended religious "reprogramming," also experience a very quick "relapse." The fact of the matter is, it's no easier changing one's sexual orientation from gay to straight, than it is for straight people to turn gay.

These religious groups are successful at changing people's BEHAVIOR...but time after time studies of these people reveal miserably suppressed individuals who are essentially brainwashed...is that a way to live????

There is a HUGE movement of EX-ex-gays...That is, people who were forced to "change" by various religious ministries, and then recognized that their sexual orientation actually never changes.

It's important to remember that many of us perceive homosexuality as "wrong" or "unnatural" simply because we've been raised to believe this. This largely reflects the type of conservative sex-unfriendly society that we live in. We don't regularly see homosexual relationships, and everyone from religious leaders to conservative parents constantly tell us that it's wrong. There is no legal support for marriage, and most gay couples lead quiet and sheltered lives.

Remember that there have been cultures in history when homosexuality has been fully accept, and even worshipped. The concept of homosexuality being unnatural or wrong simply didn't exist. There are even cultures today (certain polynesian tribes) that fully accept homosexuality and incorporate it into their societies to improve the overall community. Many European countries have a much more tolerant approach towards homosexuality, and it's reflected in greater tolerance by its citizens, and more openness about sexuality in general.

So help your Dad to step back from his narrow close-minded world for a second. And then ask him why you would go about attempting to change the sexual orientation that God blessed you with??? 17% of young males will admit being gay or bisexual in private surveys (according to a recent Time magazine survey). That's HUGE. That's neither unnatural, nor can it be attributed to being a "genetic error," because it's far too prevalentl. Homosexuality is also widely observed in many animal species. The fact is: your Dad has every right to believe what he wants. He can believe homosexuality is "wrong." But he doesn't have the right to force his beliefs onto you, or to declare your beliefs and feelings to be wrong or invalid.

With that all said, here's my advice: Let your Dad know that he needs to respect your beliefs, much as you will respect his. And you have to tell him that your sexual orientation was NOT a choice, and that changing one's sexual orientation does NOT work.

Good luck...please write me back, I'd love to know how things turn out...

Questions In This Thread

• Can you change your sexuality?
  ADAM -- December 29
  • Who's Right?
    Anthony -- December 31
  • Sorry, the EX-ex-gays will tell you that you CAN'T
    Jeff -- December 31

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