Ask Jeff & Anthony

Learn to give and get the clues...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: October 3

In Answer To: How do you find guys when you're "straight" ? (Manless)

Whether you're going after a guy or a girl, the same things that indicate mutual interest (such as eye contact, how close you stand next to the person, whether or not you "accidentally" brush into the person, etc.) are really exactly the same. As you get more comfortable with your own sexual attraction to guys, you'll become more adept at both giving out and picking up on these clues.

With homophobia so rampant, there is certainly a risk to making an error in judgment about a straight guy. But common sense can help you avoid most situations that can put you in danger. One example: you shouldn't make your move in the presence of a large group of other straight drunk guys (e.g. in a straight bar). When you've found a guy you're interested in, look for the clues and then focus on building a friendship. This is good advice for ANY gay male. Friendship is the key to learning a whole lot more about someone without necessarily being explicit about your sexual orientation.

With time, you will get better at picking up some of the very subtle differences between straight and gay guys. Also, don't give up on potentially meeting someone online or in a gay club. Without commenting on the appropriateness of keeping you orientation such a secret, if you're at a mixed club like Kurfew, you can always tell anyone who has seen you there that you're straight but "like the music" or "like the people" etc. And at an exclusively gay club, anyone seeing you there is gay himself, so you'd only be "coming out" to people just like yourself.

Questions In This Thread

• How do you find guys when you're "straight" ?
  Manless -- September 30
  • Learn to give and get the clues...
    Jeff -- October 3
    • How do i know hes gay?(or bi)
      Travis -- October 12
      • Read the Board, Travis!
        Jeff -- October 23
  • I got the guy for you
    Anthony -- October 30

Ask Jeff & Anthony is maintained by Anthony .