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You're already doing a lot of good!!!

Submitted By: Dave
Date: 12/25/00

In Answer To: How can I help my lesbian friend? (Friend)

Dear Friend,
Your story about your friend has hit me very hard, it is one of the worst I have received. You are a very good friend to be sticking with her through her hard times and writing me for additional advice. That's probably the single most important thing you can do and you're a wonderful person for that! There is nothing physical I can do for you to stop her from getting hurt but I can say a few things. It is very unfortunate that you guys have to be in the situation you are with your surroundings. If you lived somewhere else it could be so much easier, but you don't so we have to think of alternatives. At this point I think it is a mental issue. You two must realize that one day the harassment and fighting will be over and she can live her life the way that she wants to, free. It will be easy to get away from the people who are violent, but her mom is a different story. It is best if she confronted her mother about this issue. And it may be better if you went along because she will feel safer and more confident. Talk to her mom about why she doesnt like her daughter anymore, Make her realize what a mother is and how important both of them are to each other and they should love one another no matter what. She made her. Just try talking and not yelling so you can communicate better. If this doesn't help I think it would be better if your friend wrote me so she can give more specific facts about herself and then I can help her more. I appreciate you being the friend you are and how you are helping her. Don't ever leave her side and stick together, you guys are strong.

Dave

[Editor's Comments] How sad to be confronted with the hypocrisy of a Catholic school that preaches "love for each other" but nonetheless tolerates her receiving such abuse. I wonder if school officials have been helpful or hurtful? Your friend should seek out a counseling group ASAP, perhaps at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center in Manhattan. By seeing that she's not alone, and having others like herself to confide in, she'll feel a whole lot better about what she's going through.

Questions In This Thread

• How can I help my lesbian friend?
  Friend -- 12/25/00
  • You're already doing a lot of good!!!
    Dave -- 12/25/00

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