'Sup Sabrina

If you love him, tread carefully...

Submitted By: Sabrina
Date: 11/24/00

In Answer To: I want a girlfriend but have a boyfriend! (Katherine)

Katherine,

Regardless of whether someone is gay, bisexual or lesbian, when they're in a committed relationship, they usually agree that they will not see other people. A married straight girl will not lose her attraction to other males (besides her husband), but chooses to forego other relationships because of her commitment to being faithful (in an ideal world!!!) Similarly, if you are committed to your boyfriend, he would be rightfully upset should you express interest in a relationship with another person, whether that be a male or female.

You've discussed this already with your boyfriend and he's apparently not accepting of the idea of letting you experiment. In some relationships (as long as both parties agree) this is acceptable. But the fact that your boyfriend does not accept this mean that you must make a choice.

(1) Stay with your boyfriend and do your best to divert your excess sexual desires to your boyfriend or to a hobby or other activity.

(2) Tell your boyfriend that you have a need to further explore your sexuality so you can know for certain before fully committing to him. Perhaps he'll hope that you "get this out of your system," and might agree to let you do it. Or perhaps you both agree to a trial separation where you can explore these other feelings of yours.

(3) There are of course many who "cheat." I don't recommend this approach although some developed some strong rational arguments for this approach.

You mention you are in love with your boyfriend, and this is something that should not be treated lightly. It's very difficult to find love in this world, and this is precisely why my advice would be #1 above. Should your feelings change for your boyfriend, my advice would obviously change as well.

Please write me back and let me know how it goes.

Hi Sabrina my name is Katherine and i'm bisexual. I have been bisexual since i was very small.

I even had a sexual encounter when I was young with this girl once, but here is the thing: I

want one now. See when I did that when i was 5 years old i didn't feel anything. Now that my

hormones are full in effect I want to have this experience again with someone I care about

and that she cares about me too. Now that's not the problem I'm crying about. The problem is

that I have a boyfriend who I love very very much. He knows that I like girls but what he

doesen't know is that I want a relationship w/ a girl. What makes me not have a relationship

w/ a girl is the fact that he threatens into never coming back to me. which I can understand

where he's coming from. Please help me. because I don't have any idea on what to do. I love

this guy and I even plan to be with him and have a family together. but all this could change if

I were to tell him about my desire for a girl. so what do u have to say? PLEASE HELP ME.

Thank you!

katherine

Questions In This Thread

• I want a girlfriend but have a boyfriend!
  Katherine -- 11/4/00
  • If you love him, tread carefully...
    Sabrina -- 11/24/00

'Sup Sabrina is maintained by Sabrina .