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I don't wanna fall in love again

Submitted By: angel wings
Date: April 19

I don't know why I'm doing this but maybe I'd like to hear an answer. See my biggest problem is I'm afraid of falling in love again. And theres is this really nice guy who trys to give me signs on how he likes me but all I do is act #####y and mean because I don't wanna show him I care as well. Because if I do that then I'm opening up only to get hurt all over again.
And I really like him but it seems that everyone I like whinds up only hurting me in the end.

And I don't think I'll ever get over the drama my first love put me through. I was madly in love with this boy who oddly enough was my bisexual friend. To make this story really short I wound up really falling head over heels for him that it drove me mad that all I would do was cry myself to sleep. But he just didn't feel the same for me, he just didn't love me the way I loved him. And I tried everything to in my power to make him be mine (but like we all say you can't cage a butterfly if their not yours to cage up). So we wound up not talking (and still havent).
So what happend was I put up this wall that I don't wanna fall in love again.

Yet I find myself doing things only to make up for the fact I feel so alone. I honestly want someone to share my feelings and love with but if I do I know I'll get hurt again. And this time I don't know if I'll be able to pick myself up again.

I really like this boi that I'm seeing now and I hope he feels the same. But I don't know what to do, I'm afraid I'm pushing him away by being so closed up and #####y at times. I'm afraid he might be the one I have been searching for yet I'm also afraid he might walk out of my life and lose intreast in my like my bi friend (the first love) did.

And the other thing that bothers me is I don't want this new boi to be a substertution for my bi friend (the kid I really liked). But I can't help at times, that I think of him.

So what I need -r- answers
I know I have to move on and let (my bi friend) go and see past it.
But about not wanting to fall in love again.
I'm only going to hurt myself and whind up being alone.

Thanks
angel wings

Questions In This Thread

• I don't wanna fall in love again
  angel wings -- April 19
  • Don't be scared of life
    Anthony -- April 30

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