Ask Jeff & Anthony

Give it a little time!!!

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: March 24

In Answer To: Why cant she accept it? (Stef)

Even the most liberal and well-intentioned parents may not have the best response upon learning their child is gay. In many cases it's a total surprise, and people don't always react the best way when they're surprised or shocked!

Give your mom some time to absorb the information. Remember, this is going to be one of those situations where YOU will have the upper hand in knowledge, experience and information than your mother (on the topic of homosexuality). So you'll need to be the educator in this scenario. And it usually takes time to counteract years of homophobic societal conditioning.

When I told my own mother that I was gay, she cried. It took a few years before I ever asked my mother why she had cried, and she told me an answer that was most surprising. She didn't cry because she was upset to find out I was gay; she cried because she realized I had lived with such a secret burden all by myself for so many years.

I've heard many cases where parents at first were initially argumentative or downright hostile, but in most cases (not all!) they've come around to tolerance, acceptance, and finally strong support. I hope this turns out to be your case.

Send me an email with an update in a couple of months! Hang in there, good luck and lots of love!

Questions In This Thread

• Why cant she accept it?
  Stef -- March 12
  • Give it a little time!!!
    Jeff -- March 24

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