Ask Jeff & Anthony

Take some steps

Submitted By: Anthony
Date: December 22

In Answer To: But when does the healing begin? (J)

This is another sad story. These things are very complicated and I'd be lying if I spoke about your situation with any sort of authority, but I can give my honest opinion. If you are seriously interested in healing, there are several things that are necessary. First of all, if you haven't yet, cut off all contact with him. Also, try to get involved in something, anything. Get to know yourself better, because I suspect that more than missing him as a person, you are just lonely. By learning more about yourself during this period, you can gain the independence and insight to make your next relationship go a little bit better. If you just sit around and think about how bored/lonely you are, you won't solve anything. I read once that a good way to get to know yourself better is to, when you find yourself bored/lonely, sit down alone and ask yourself how you feel about different things. Pick anything, Opera, birds, spirituality, physics, mountain climbing...etc. If you know very little about the subject, think of ways you can explore them which would be fun for you. Think of ways that you can involve yourself in your interests. Take a yoga class or a karate class if you like being active. Join a book group if you like to read, etc. I think you get the idea and I am just rambling at this point. Please give this a try for a month, really make an effort and I bet you will feel better after that month than you have all year. Good Luck, and keep me posted.
Anthony

Questions In This Thread

• Jilted by Internet boyfriend
  Peek -- August 20
  • Pick up the pieces
    Anthony -- August 20
    • Anthony, that was a REALLY good answer!
      Jeff -- August 29
    • But when does the healing begin?
      J -- December 21
      • Take some steps
        Anthony -- December 22

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