Ask Jeff & Anthony

What a pickle!!

Submitted By: Spanky
Date: December 21

Hi. I have known my neighbors since the beginning of this summer when I introduced myself. They have been together for 17 years. We had a blast this summer with picnics, walks, movies, talking, and laughing. One problem, though. Two days before my birthday in August, Dave started e-mailing me, eventually under another account so Gary wouldn't find out.. It began with a little flattery. I enjoyed it. I never was in any relationships before. I never allowed myself to be. Pretty soon, he invited me over to spend his day off with him. I loved it. We had fun. We worked, played Nintendo, went to town, but we never fooled around.

His e-mails became more flattering. It peaked my interest. On one of his days off, we ended up in bed. Since I've never been with anyone, I was nervous. We caressed and kissed, but I didn't want to go any further. The next time we ended up in bed was after Gary left for work. Dave e-mailed me to come over around 7:30 AM. I got up the nerve to go. I enjoyed it, but my mouth was so dry. He said I was nervous. That's why.

We fooled around once after that. The problem is two-fold. One, I betrayed Gary. The other is that I told Gary what Dave and I were doing. I found Dave lying to me every once in a while. Also, he could be rude. Those 2 things tick me off no matter what. I don't lie. I don't expect someone to do it to me, especially when they tell me how much I mean to him.

Well, when I found out he was lying, I decided I was going to drop a bomb on him. I had every one of his e-mails saved. I printed them out, wrote below them detailed explanations of them and what we did on that day, and put them into a folder and put them away for the time-being.

I waited. Gary called me. He said someone called their house and left a message for Scott that he can't meet him that day. Gary asked me if I knew who Scott was. I said I did. People get Dave mixed up for someone who looks like Scott in town. Also, Dave started e-mailing me under a new account as Scott. Gary suspected him. He also suspected me, also. Dave must have been fooling around with someone else besides Gary and me and telling the other person his name was Scott.

When Gary started asking me questions, I was honest with him. I told him some things. I said I had a folder with information (e-mails Dave sent me) in which Gary wanted. Dave cheated before. He also went to video booths at a local bookstore. Gary found that out through me. I saw Dave's truck there twice. When Gary asked Dave about it, Dave said he went to jack off alone. Gary and I both don't believe that. Why would you go to a video booth to jack off when you can get a magazine or movie and do it at home?

I was onto Dave. I knew he was lying. Also, he was angry with me for following him on his day off. He saw me. I was playing sleuth. I wanted to catch him because I felt he lied to me again. When Gary told me that Dave saw I followed him and Dave was angry, I decided that his fate was sealed with me. He must have thought he could lie to me and to Gary and get away with it. I even called him at work to warn him that Gary was suspicious of him (and me), and I told him I was suspicious of him and someone else. He hung up on me! When I talked to Gary, he only told Gary part of the truth. He lied about our conversation. I won't say what he said, but that made me madder. All I tried to do was save his butt.

The day after Thanksgiving, Gary called me. I told him I had the folder. He said he'd like it. He told me to stop over the next morning on my way to work. I stopped in. We chatted about what Dave and I did. I felt much better finally telling him. I left the folder and left.

Dave wrote me a short letter a few days later, after Gary told him I was over and told everything. Dave said I destroyed his life and Gary's, also. He said he loves Gary with all his heart. Liar!! If he did, why did he cheat on him on more than one occasion? Also, in 2 of the e-mails I gave Gary, Dave told me that he doesn't know how Gary and he stayed together all these years. They have nothing in common. On another one, he said I wasn't hurting their relationship, only doing it good. What a liar to turn around and save his butt and tell me that he loves Gary with all his heart! He also said he didn't regret fooling around with me. Gary read all that in the e-mails.

Yes, Gary is angry with me. He is also angry with Dave. I apologized. Only Gary and I correspond by phone or e-mail once in a great while. Dave and I have no communication at all. Gary told me that he doesn't want to end the friendship because we had a wonderful summer, and we did!! It was great, before everything happened. I have a problem. I know I have no say in this, but what would you do if you were Gary and your lover of 17 cheated on you AGAIN and lied to you when you asked him about it? When Gary asked Dave about the phone call for Scott, Dave said it must have been a wrong number. Liar!! I am sooooo mad at him. I hate to see him get off scott-free.

Gary is nice. Dave is not. We'll never have the friendhip or quality summer time we all 3 had as this last summer. What do I do about Gary? He is angry with me, but I feel he won't stay angry with me forever. He has kept up some communication. I told him if he wants to talk about anything, I'll talk. I hate to see him hold everything inside of him. He said he doesn't want to talk. Now that I found out how Dave operates (by lying), I don't know if I'll ever be able to believe Gary completely now when I talk to him. I feel like I'm in some mental game with them. I'll be honest, I'm glad I did what I did to Dave. He hurt me in that this was my first relationship. It shouldn't have been Dave, though, because he was committed to Gary. Dave is as guilty as I or even more guilty. I need some suggestions. I wrote earlier this summer when this all started happening with Dave, and I didn't heed your input. Maybe now I'll listen. I don't want to loose Gary as a friend. Thanks.

Questions In This Thread

• What a pickle!!
  Spanky -- December 21
  • Pickle or soap opera?
    Anthony -- December 22

Ask Jeff & Anthony is maintained by Anthony .