Ask Jeff & Anthony

Relationship Question

Submitted By: Erick_in_VA
Date: January 2

Hi, I have read your site off and on and now I am here to ask / post a question..... I have recently become involved with a Korean Guy who is 21 yrs old and who is my opinion a perfect 10 twink...LOL. I am a 40 yr old Chubby Bear. We love each other and he talks about marriage after college and wanting to adopt kids. These are things that I also want so it is like a dream come true for me. I am concerned with the age difference of almost 20 yrs. He has told me that this isn't an issue for him. But I am afraid that he is going to grow tired of me and leave. I believe that he is sincere in his words and his intensions its just that I guess I have worries. Am I working myself up over nothing... I don't want to say anything to him because I am afraid of scaring him away over nothing. I guess that I am looking for some reassurance.

Quick Background: He is a Korean Guy that is 21 and in college. I am a 40 yr. old Bear that is Heavy Set and gainfully employed. We met online and chatted / txt for like 1 1/2 months before he told me that he couldn't wait any long to meet each other. I suggested a public place and told him what to expect when he saw me. After our first meeting I just figured that he wouldn't be interested but when I was online later that night he contacted me so we could chat and we chatted and he told me he was totally interested in dating. About 3 weeks into dating he said we needed to talk about something really important. I was like okay. So he came to my place after his evening class which was like about 11pm. He said he needed to ask me a question and needed to see my face to see my reaction. I was like... "Okay". So he asked me if I was real? I was totally confused until he explained that he wanted to know if I was putting up a false persona instead of being who I really was. I explained that I was totally Real and that if he had any problems with what he has been seeing and experiencing that I was sorry but that is who I am. He gave me a big smile and a hug and as we were hugging he told me he was so happy because he said that he needed to make sure I was real because the last 3 weeks had him feeling like he was living in a dream come true.

We have been actually dating now for 3 months. We now spend a lot of time together with him staying over almost 4 to 5 days a week. As I said I am Heavy Set so when he wanted to shower together I was a little embarrassed but he was like "...whats the big deal. I like you just as you are." so needless to say we shower and wash each other every few days. I tell him that I love him when we are together and he says that he likes or that he really really likes me. I have mentioned to him that he doesn't say that the loves me and he told me that its because "Love" means something really deep and special to him. I have told him that I don't say "I Love You." to just anyone. Well he went home to Korea for the Christmas break and when he was getting on the plane he called me and we talked and before we hung up he said "I Love You." I was in tears in like no time flat. And we try to chat as often as possilbe while he is visiting time. And when he is home and we can't be together we txt / chat for like 3 hour chat sessions. We talk about everything and anything.... LOL.

I really do love him. But there is like this evil little voice in the back of my head that says that he is going to leave me. But we both talk about the future and he wants me to lose some weight because of my health and he doesn't want me to become sick and leave him (Death). He doesn't want me all buff and trim because he has told me he is not into guys like that.

So guys tell me.... Am I making something out of nothing. I want to get him something special for our 6 month anniversary and was thinking about giving him a key for my apt at our 1 year anniversary. When ever we see kids he always talks about us having children. So am I just a nervous nelly. I have been in other relationships but none of my past boyfriends have has soooooo much in common with me. I mean we have tried to find things that we don't have in common. So far the only thing we have found is that we love the same type of music except he likes some Rap Music and I don't like it at all.... LOL. But thats about.

Sorry for such a long email but I guess it kinda tells you how crazy my mind works.... LOL

I am totally masculine and very str8t acting but after reading this I guess I am worrying like a woman.... OMG... LOL.

Erick... Worried in VA.

Questions In This Thread

• Relationship Question
  Erick_in_VA -- January 2
  • Re: Relationship Question
    The Kurfew Krew -- September 23

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