Ask Jeff & Anthony

love problems

Submitted By: Ross
Date: September 14

Hey! I'm a guy in my early 20's and I met this guy about four months ago. We wanted to get into the same program at university, so we came in contact via the program's forums and we chatted for a long time. The first time we chatted he wanted to see a pic of mine & I became confused, but did show him my pic. Later he said that he's into guys. Even though I was already aware of being attracted to guys as well, I denied being into guys. We started to talk randomly, chatted about the program, about the exams etc., etc. & it was kind of fun. But I didn't know how to communicate with him and used every opportunity to make fun of him & be mean.

Anyway, we met on the day of the exams. And afterwards we spent the whole evening together (from around 6 p.m. to after midnight) and first had coffee and beer and talked about stuff and I've never really experienced it like that. I was talking about personal, intimate things to somebody (something I never do!) and he was looking at me with real interest and in a very touching and beautiful way and I think that's when the crush started. We then moved to another place and had dinner and we had sex (protected, of course!). Anyway, it was my first time and I kind of loved it. He was very gentle and even though he tried to kiss me several times on the mouth, I always avoided it. So in the end he kissed me on the neck and I felt great. Anyway, it started to get cold outside and he said he felt the cold, but I replied "I don't care about you, so...", which is the worst thing I could have said. Anyway, I felt so insecure and I feel so bad about saying it. Anyway, he left and the next day we had a brief chat, anyway he wasn't in the mood to come for coffee. We chatted another time & I kind of freaked out and acted like a jerk again. This time he said to me that it was strange, but I'm like two different people - the nice, sweet and charming guy, who's innocent and naive in real life and this "twin" when we chat online and that he doesn't like the twin online. Anyway, I still have not confessed to him that I'm into guys and I said to him something like: "We'll have the best sex next time.", but afterwards we have not spoken anymore. I don't know what to do. He cared for me so much that night and afterwards I blew things. Anyway, I think I'm having feeling for him and I really want things to work, but I don't know what to do. I know he's had sex with many guys and I know he's probably going to have sex with many more, but I love him, yes I do, even after one night, and I don't know what to do. I want to tell him, but what if he just laughs at me? What can I do?
I just want to stop to think about him, yet I can't. We'll probably meet again in the beginning of October, but I don't know what to do. We haven't spoken in two days. :(

That's it.
Greetings,
R.

Questions In This Thread

• love problems
  Ross -- September 14
  • Apologize for your past actions and reflect on why they happened
    The Kurfew Krew -- September 23

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