Ask Jeff & Anthony

Hun, what makes you think you're not gay???

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: October 26

In Answer To: I am torn with my sexuality (How can I be certain if I'm gay?)

Hey, thanks for the lolli!

Your issue has less to do with whether you are gay, and more to do with your own self-acceptance.

"GAY" typically refers to sexual orientation, which relates to your feelings, desires, fantasies, etc. You clearly state that you're more attracted to males, and this is essentially the definition of being gay. I'm not clear as to why you only realized this past weekend that you "might be gay," I'm also not clear why your friends would think it's "just in your head" to want a boyfriend if they know you're attracted to males!

You said you're unsure if you just want to "fool around" or if you're gay. The answer is both: you want to fool around with a guy BECAUSE you are gay! Get it??? Males that are predominantly heterosexual do not typically have the urge to fool around with other males. And at age 18, it's highly unlikely you'll wake up one day to find yourself suddenly attracted to women.

You need to accept the fact that you're gay and ultimately become more comfortable with yourself. You mention you already come to Kurfew, so there are plenty of people that have been through, or are going through, the same thing you are. I hope your friends will also accept you at your word for who you are!

Good luck and stay in touch!

There's no need to rush into anything...

Questions In This Thread

• I am torn with my sexuality
  How can I be certain if I'm gay? -- October 25
  • Hun, what makes you think you're not gay???
    Jeff -- October 26
    • Rush if you want to
      Anthony -- October 30

Ask Jeff & Anthony is maintained by Anthony .