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A long stressfull story...

Submitted By: Dan
Date: October 27

Hey, I know you've heard this before, but the site's awesome, especially the advice! This might be kinda long and seem, confusing but here it goes.
First of all, I'm 15 and I'm almost positive I'm gay. I'm sexually attracted to guys and friendly attracted to girls. I'm your typical "spoiled" kid, but I have alot of stress. I'm not OUT to anyone yet, I'm thinking of telling of my really good friends(a girl) really soon because I'm tired of holding everything in and not being able to tell anyone anything and trying to act like I like girls. I also like this guy who's in two of my classes and in both of them I've noticed that he kind of looks at me(he is gay, he's OUT, to a few people I think but still OUT) and especially in my spanish class, I've noticed that when I look in the corner of my eye I can see him looking at me sometimes and then he turns his eyes away from me really fast. I don't know if he likes me or if he's just interested or if it's all just coincidences. There's this problem though, we're not technically "friends"
because we've never talked. We had assigned seats next to eachother for like a few minutes(of course that was ruined by some kid) and he didn't talk to me but he talked to one of my good friends(the one I want to come OUT to)but he kind of looked at me like he wanted me to talk to him first, but I'm really shy, really really shy. When I look at him or see him in the halls, I start talking really loud and he probably things I'm all messed up, but it's almost like a natural reaction, I don't know what else to do. I've tried almost everything I can think of to become friends with him then actually talking to him(which would probably be the best way) I've tried screaming my screen name out near him for no apparent reason, told someone in a really loud voice to email me with their problems(I have a small advice email column thing) hoping that he'd hear it and ask me for advice, but no. I really don't know what else to do I'M JUST TOO SHY!!!
None the less, I don't know what we'd do if we did get into a relationship. I don't think that I could ever tell my parents that I'm gay, my favorite show is Xena and my mom often said "ew" at the kiss scences between Xena and Gabrielle, she's really good at telling who's gay and who's not, so she may even know that I'm gay and just not telling me.
I've been teased for being gay for as long as I can remember, always known the truth but I guess I tried to deny it. Can you see any stress here? I don't know what to do, is there any suggestions you could give me??? Thanks!

Questions In This Thread

• A long stressfull story...
  Dan -- October 27
  • Just be yourself `
    Anthony -- October 31

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