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My boyfriend doesn't show show his affection

Submitted By: Steve
Date: July 24

I have been dating my boyfriend for the last nine months and during that time he has done things for me that I could never have asked for. I'm an American living in Germany, and when my room mate kicked me out my boyfriend asked me if I'd like to get an apartment with him. We were only going out for 3 weeks by then, but I am alone here in Germany, and things were going exceptionally well for us. During the last few months I have been unable to work while I wait for my appropriate visa's to be completed. My boyfriend has payed for everything during this time, never once complaining or saying anything negative. Since I haven't many friends of my own here, he even takes me to his co-workers parties. They don't know that he is gay, but us always being together has led to some of them guessing.

So where's the problem you ask? As he leaves for work in the morning I walk him to the door and tell him I love him, and he just says,"Yeah... Ok, bye." I give him massages every day, having never gotten one back. He sings at parties and weddings on Saturdays. I ask him how everything went, ask him if there were any interesting stories. He always says it was the same as every other time. When he's with his co-workers, however, he can talk for an hour about what happened at the parties. He just doesn't seem to want to cuddle, kiss, talk, or say I love you.

I asked him once about the, I love you, and he just says that he says it when he feels it, and not when he thinks he has to. It's something I need to hear, though. When I go to long without hearing it I start to question how well our relationship is really going. Am I looking for too much? Is this normal for a long term relationship? (nine months isn't long, but every long relationship starts somewhere :-) Should I push the subject again, or just accept it as how he is?

Questions In This Thread

• My boyfriend doesn't show show his affection
  Steve -- July 24
  • Emotional Expression
    Anthony -- July 25

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