Ask Jeff & Anthony

Take a gradual approach...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: January 10

In Answer To: Re: What's the reason you haven't already.. (cook_15)

In cases such as yours, your best bet might be to let your friend discover, or suspect, your sexuality gradually. Perhaps you can begin talking about "gay rights" or casually mention that a particularly guy is "very good looking." Then judge the reaction of your friend. If he freaks out over the little things, he'll likely freak out if you tell him the whole deal. If he seems to "roll with it" when it comes to these hints, you can get bolder, and perhaps you'll eventually be comfortable enough to come out entirely.

Everyone needs to find their own balance when it comes to their desire to maintain a friendship, versus the urge to be open with their friends. Some people just can't live without the friendship, in which case they keep their sexual orientation to themselves to avoid disrupting the friendship. Others believe it's important for their closest friends to know their "true selves," and if their friends can't accept them as they are, then perhaps these people are not "true friends." So figure out where you fall in these two categories.

In any event, take your time and think it out. You don't need to rush to disclose your sexual orientation.

Also check my advice to kris_poet_usa, who writes about a friend who has religious issues.

Questions In This Thread

• Re: What's the reason you haven't already..
  cook_15 -- January 7
  • Take a gradual approach...
    Jeff -- January 10

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