Ask Jeff & Anthony

Pick yourself up and move on!

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: December 28

In Answer To: How to survive being gay (George)

I'm sorry to hear about your job loss. But losing a job is often a blessing in disguise. In your case, it was a Christmas present to get you out of an cold, uncaring, homophobic company. I was in the same boat as you at one point. I lost a good job after coming out to my employer. But the experience inspired me to ultimately create Kurfew and I've never again worried about being "out" to anybody.

It's OK to feel sorry for yourself...but only up to a point. Beyond that, you must get into "fighting" mode: Start looking for a new job that will accept you for who you are. Also, are ALL of your family members against you? Might you have one or two who are supportive? If not, you can wait around for your family members to "wisen up," or you can get out there and create your own "family." Make new friends, meet new people and you'll feel a heck of a lot better. It won't be easy or simple, but as the Nike people say..."Just Do It."

Tell me more information so I can assist you further...where are you located? How did they find out you were gay? How were you fired? Depending upon your circumstances, I might advise you to get legal guidance. Sexual orientation discrimination is illegal is several states, and you might have legal recourse.

As far as being alone for Christmas, you're actually not "alone" because millions of others are alone for Christmas. Remember those less needy than you and be grateful for the things you have in life, while working on getting the things that you need. Volunteer some time to help others in need. Meet some people online, or subscribe to the Kurfew Peronsals. If you're over 18 and can get to New York City, come down to Kurfew's Saturday night party, where you'll met many other supportive gay people.

Write me back and let me know how it goes!

Questions In This Thread

• How to survive being gay
  George -- December 25
  • Pick yourself up and move on!
    Jeff -- December 28

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