Ask Jeff & Anthony

A quick review...

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: December 28

In Answer To: Gay Test? (Adam)

There's no "Gay Test" as such, but here's a quick review of some things you can do to try to figure somebody out. Review some of the earlier postings for some more ideas.

By the way, someone can pass all of these tests and STILL be straight. So this is only for guidance. Some might even consider these to be stereotypes, so I reiterate that they're not true in all cases. I can't be responsible for the consequences if you decide to come out (or worse, come onto) the most homophobic guy in your school.

(1) What does your intuition tell you?
Yes "GayDar" is alive and well. Most gay guys have an intuitive sense that another guy is gay or straight. The difficulty comes when you meet a guy you desperately WANT to be gay, and your mind beging convincing you that perhaps he IS gay, when he really is not. But definitely apply significant weight to your initial "GayDar" reaction.

(2) What does he look at?
The best way to gauge someone's sexual interest is to casually observe what he likes to look at. The more time you have to do this, the better you can assess his interests. Does he turn his head to watch a girl pass by? (although closeted gay boys can learn how to do this trick). Does he seem to be looking around at girls in the classroom? Or guys? Does he stare at you? Do your eyes lock with yours in a way that tells you "I'm interested???"

(3) What does he talk about?
Straight males like to talk about girls. Constantly. If he doesn't, he's either polite and civilized, or he MIGHT be gay. OR, he might be uncomfortable talking about girls around you if he perceives that YOU are gay. It's important to remember that closeted gay boys can learn how to do the "getting laid" talk too.

(4) How does he react to gay issues?
If the topic of homosexuality comes up, it would be interesting to see the reaction of your test target. The extremes often give off the wrong answer. For example, guys who go ballistic over anything gay tend to be dealing with their own doubts about their sexuality. A healthy normal straight male will react normally and neutrally towards gay discussion (assuming a major metro area...the reaction would be different in a small, homophobic town). But, obviously, any type of negative or violent reaction would be reason to avoid the guy.

(5) Is he left handed?
Left handed people are far more likely to be gay. This is something I've discovered in high school, and has recently been borne out by science. By my very rough estimate, perhaps 25% of left-handed males are gay or bisexual.

(6) Does he like sports?
While there are certainly many gay guys who are totally into sports, and also many straight guys who avoid sports altogether, most of the gay guys I have known have been apathetic towards sports...whether playing or watching.

If he passes the above tests, you can move on the more "risky" ones. Brush your leg against his "accidentally" or sit just a little "too close" and gauge the reaction. Just remember, if it's negative, don't push it!

Your best bet for taking things beyond the above steps: work on befriending the guy. Friendship is the best way to lead to something more as you'll get to know him a lot better. And clearly, if he's not interested in friendship with you, it's unlikely he's interest in anything more than that!

Good luck and tell me how it works out!

Questions In This Thread

• Gay Test?
  Adam -- December 23
  • A quick review...
    Jeff -- December 28

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