Ask Jeff & Anthony

Young and Utterly Restless

Submitted By: Flamer without fire
Date: December 25

I can't really think or tell much for that matter on this issue but I am getting desperate. (no offense.)
About 10 months ago, i was madly in love with the love of my life. And i knew this was it, even at the age of 16 I just knew that my being, my existence was all about this one person.
But, over the summer, there was an accident and he was gone. Death had taken everything that made me feel alive and full of love. It faded, just another life of purity demolished by corruption. And i know that i wasn't the only one broken by it but i can't help feeling that this was strictly an attack on me. A lesson in which i was to learn to never feel, love or touch anybody else, ever again. And even when people do approach me, whether they be friendly or frisky, i can't do anything to make them stay, i have no rays to shine out anymore since my light has been shut off. Its not even a little dim, just complete darkness. My family has noticed my unfortunate changing ways and have practically given up. All i have from them is books on coping and candles for meditation which is opposed to sleeping. And only at certain times do i find myself slightly opening up for a few minutes, like now. I want those minutes to turn to hours. I want to walk back into the world without having self-pity. I want my life back. And most of all i want me back. When he died, I felt he took my soul along with his. All thats left is my body, stupid and senseless.
I realize these aren't your usual questions (i've read some of your older letters) but to be my level honest, to get some kind of reaction from a happier place might spark off something in me to start breathing again, normally anyways. How does one start over? Get past losing their life and finding another somewhere else without uncomfortable aspects that are clearly visible. How do i get off the topic of me and deal with everything else including my beloved's death which still is over my head as if it happened yesterday.
Don't knock yourselves out with this one, just please give me a crumb of refreshment. It would mean something to me. Thank you!

Questions In This Thread

• Young and Utterly Restless
  Flamer without fire -- December 25
  • Young and Utterly Restless
    Jeff -- December 27

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