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A Coming Out Story from a 16 y/o bisexual girl

Submitted By: Cici
Date: 12/25/00

Ok- I was at your site and I've decided to contribute my own coming out story. I'm a 16 year old girl and I've only realized that I am bisexual within the last month or so...funny thing is, I've never been more certain of anything...at least that's how I feel now, anyway...

On Dec. 19, 1999 I was on the phone with my best friend Elena. We talked about the usual stuff, and somehow eventually came to discuss sexuality. I still to this day have no idea how we got on the topic. During the conversation, it occured to me that I did think about girls a little bit more than your average heterosexual female. I asked her if she thought I could be bi, and she was like sure, why not?'. That was the last we spoke of the subject for several months, and to be honest I kinda forgot about the conversation...see, I'm not a very sexual person in any respect, so its perfectly conceivable (at least to me) that I never really thought of this stuff. Fast forward to July of 2000. My friend Danielle, who's like a sister to me, was sleeping over my house (no, we did not do anything.) Once again, the subject mysteriously came up...we talked for nearly 2 hours, and by the end of the conversation there was no doubt in my mind that I was bi. It was cool, kinda like a new freedom...At first I wondered how everything could have changed so quickly, and thought maybe I really was straight. But the thought of being straight (never getting to be with a girl) depressed me, and I realized that I hadn't changed at all...The only thing that did was the label I gave myself. It was like giving a name to feelings that had been a part of me as long as I can remember. I still haven't hooked up with a girl yet, but that's because I don't want it to be cheap, like my 2 experiences with guys (during which I felt NOTHING, not even physically). I told a few more of my friends as the week went on, whenever I felt it was right to tell them, and a few days after the sleepover, I got a pretty big surprise. I was at work, discussing my life with Elena, and I happened to mention another friend who was keeping secrets from me...I said something like, 'Jack is acting funny...he says he has a secret or something...' At first, Elena acted like she had no idea what to tell me, but then she finally
told me- Jack was gay. He'd told another of our friends, Leah, a year or so before (when he had his first boyfriend) and Leah told Elena a few weeks before, in late June. I was surprised that Elena had waited as long as she did to tell me. But it didn't matter- I knew now. The news really hit me hard..I mean, I was scared and confused enough about myself...and now him, too...so I lit another cigarette and made myself an espresso...At some point after that day, I managed to convince myself of the possibility that I was only bi because Jack was...ridiculous, if you recall, because I came out BEFORE he did...strange how the mind works sometimes...Finally, during one of
our 6 hour nighttime phone conversations, I decided to tell Jack about myself...I had been hesitating on this, because I figured if he wasn't
telling anyone about himself maybe he wouldn't accept me...stupid logic, I realize in retrospect...after almost telling him a few times, I finally spit it out around 5 am. After I told him, he came out to me as well...I think I
did a pretty good job of acting surprised, because I don't think he suspected anything. Although I didn't mind him being gay (of course not, that would make me the world's biggest hypcorite) I was afraid of this whole new life I was entering...I mean, two weeks before, we had both been "straight" in my mind!!! It felt like a big walking dream at first...But now I'm used to it.
We are who we are, and I wouldn't change it for anything.

I've since told my mother, but I have no idea how to approach the subjest with the rest of my family. Although my mom is incredibly supportive, she is threatening to tell my father and grandparents if I don't...personally, I
don't think I have to tell them right now, I need some more time to prepare myself if they are going to react badly...if anyone has advice for me, please respond to this post! Thanks for listening.

Cici

Questions In This Thread

• A Coming Out Story from a 16 y/o bisexual girl
  Cici -- 12/25/00
  • Thanks for sharing!
    Dave -- 12/25/00

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