Ask Jeff & Anthony

Married with three kids...but I'm gay

Submitted By: Jeff
Date: January 2

In Answer To: Married with three kids...but I'm gay (John in Missouri)

It's interesting to hear that your wife has known that you were gay from the start. That clears up the biggest hurdle you have (one of informing your wife). If your relationship with your wife is strong enough, I'd suggest you talk to her about your feelings. In an ideal world, you'd be able to negoatiate an accommodation that makes everyone happy, retains your marriage, and avoids the stress on the children that an inevitable breakup would entail.

I'm not in favor of cheating on your wife, although certainly many gay men married to women have pursued this route for sexual fulfillment.

Your feelings are obviously strong enough to motivate you to write. It's important to remember though, that even if you were straight, you'd most certainly have an attraction for females other than your wife. So the core question is whether the love for your wife (and your family) can overcome the sexual drive you are experiencing for a man. And ultimately only you can answer that. Email us back with an update!

Questions In This Thread

• Married with three kids...but I'm gay
  John in Missouri -- January 2
  • Married with three kids...but I'm gay
    Jeff -- January 2
  • Won't someone think of the children!
    Anthony -- January 4

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