Ask Dave

Am I ready to come out?

Submitted By: Jacob L
Date: 12/25/00

Dear Dave,

Hello, I would just like to start by saying thank you. It’s been helpful reading the advice in your column and has brought me out of denial and into accepting the facts.

But I didn’t write to you just to chat, so here’s what I’ve got on my mind. As of right now I haven’t come out yet, but I was wondering if perhaps I should. I’m not aware of any negative reprecussions that might occur in this average environment aside from the occasional bigot. On the other hand I see no advantage to coming out right now. Nonetheless not a day goes by that I don’t have these thoughts running through my head.

If I do come out I plan to tell just a friend or two at school (obviously word may spread, but that’s life) and wait until later in life to tell my parents. The person I’m thinking of telling is the closest thing I have to a friend and I’m not sure if he’ll be all that receptive. From what I’ve seen though I doubt he’ll react too unfavorably. However I’m not sure if I would be able to bring myself to actually tell him face to face. So instead I’m considering slipping a note into his locker on one of the last days of school so then it can sink in over the summer while I talk with him through e-mail about any questions he might have (assuming he’ll still talk to me). And all of this of course assuming I go through with it.

When school starts again I’m going to be a senior so I figure I’ll be able to handle that one year until graduation. I know this sounds rather cowardly but it’s the only way I can think of to bring myself to get it out. I would greatly appreciate your input.

Thanks so much,
Jacob L

Questions In This Thread

• Am I ready to come out?
  Jacob L -- 12/25/00
  • You're on the right track...
    Dave -- 12/25/00

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